


Steady Hearts

by fangirlsanity



Series: Heartbeat (AU collection) [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Inspired by the Surgeon Simulator Immersion, M/M, Surgeon AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 12:31:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8845219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlsanity/pseuds/fangirlsanity
Summary: He couldn’t save everyone. Gavin knew this. 
 
It was the middle of the night, the headlights of his car illuminating the empty road ahead of him. Gavin didn't take note of any of the sights in front of his windshield, staring straight ahead. He felt numb. 
 
He barely registered parking in the driveway, or getting his keys to open the door.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A little oneshot inspired by the Surgeon Simulator Immersion. You guys know which part I'm talking about. 
> 
> A big thank you to thatnerdyginger24 for being my beta! You were brutal, it was great.

He couldn’t save everyone. Gavin knew this.

 

It was the middle of the night, the headlights of his car illuminating the empty road ahead of him. Gavin didn't take note of any of the sights in front of his windshield, staring straight ahead. He felt numb.

 

He barely registered parking in the driveway, or getting his keys to open the door.

 

In fact, when Gavin pulled out of his stupor, he was finishing brushing his teeth. He spat out the water that was in his mouth and turned on the sink to splash water on his face. As if the motion would somehow wash away what he was feeling. He made the mistake of looking at himself in the mirror. He looked exhausted, eyes red-rimmed, looking like the shell of Gavin Free.

 

He felt like a failure.

 

His patient’s name was Sarah Brown, a teenage girl with a pre-existing heart condition that kept her in the hospital for extended amounts of time. Despite this, she was a good student with great potential. From the look of it, her parents had looked into whatever medicine they could to help their daughter, so a heart transplant was a last ditch effort to save her.

 

He pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes, trying to keep the tears in. He failed that whole family. It was on his operating table that she died.

 

He knew that he couldn’t save everyone. But now he felt like he couldn’t save anyone.

 

Telling her parents was probably the worst part of the whole thing. He expected them to get upset with him, hit him, and scream in his face about how he was an incompetent doctor. Instead they were resigned and had obviously prepared for the worst.They gave Gavin a handshake and told him that he did the best he could. Somehow that made him feel even worse.

 

Thinking about it now, it felt like stones were gathering in the pit of his stomach.

 

He stepped out of the bathroom and spied Michael sleeping in the bed. His breathing was even and deep with a hint of a snore. In his sleep he managed to wrap himself in the blankets akin to a very comfy burrito, poofy red-brown hair sticking out of the top. Despite Gavin’s current mood, he couldn’t help but smile.

 

He walked over to his side of the bed and laid down next to his husband, gently prying the blankets to get access to the cocoon that Michael had created. Once he made an opening, he slid into the empty space and examined Michael’s face. It was nice to see Michael so relaxed, he was the type of surgeon that wasn’t afraid to yell at interns when they did something not completely right and that made new people initially afraid of him. But anyone who truly knew Michael Jones knew that while he wasn’t a force to be reckoned with, he would give life and limb to protect the ones that he loved.

 

Gavin was lucky enough to be one of them.

 

He scooted close enough to Michael to the point where their foreheads touched, as if connecting them together would somehow turn Gavin’s brain off. While his body was warm and safe in bed, his brain felt like it was still in the hospital’s operating room, still reeling from his recent failure.

 

“You’re being a fucking weirdo, Gav,” Michael said, his eyes still closed and his voice still colored with sleep.

 

Gavin let out a breathy chuckle and started to move away from Michael when he felt an arm wrap around his middle, keeping him rooted at the spot.

 

“I didn’t mean to stop, idiot,” Michael grumbled, frowning at the lack of contact. A little wrinkle appeared between his brows where they were furrowed. When Michael tugged Gavin closer to him, the wrinkle disappeared. They were close enough that their breaths mingled in the same space. Normally, Gavin would use this as an excuse to kiss Michael senseless. But tonight Gavin didn’t feel normal.

 

Michael, sensing that something was amiss, opened up one brown eye to look at Gavin’s face.

 

“What’s wrong?” Michael asked.

 

Gavin shook his head, “Nothing’s wrong, love. Just go back to sleep.”

 

Michael, with both eyes open now, glared at him, “Bullshit. It was that surgery today, wasn’t it?”

 

Gavin stayed silent, looking away from Michael. A hand was brought up to his face, stroking his cheek. “Gavin, what happened?”

 

“It more or less went tits up halfway through. She… she didn’t make it.”

 

Michael sighed, “I’m really sorry, Gav. From what you’ve told me about your case it was very complicated. It’s not your fault.”

 

“But it is my fault, Michael. If I wasn’t so full of myself she wouldn’t be dead. They probably could have found another solution for her that didn’t involve a risky transplant. Maybe if I was a better surgeon she would have made it.”

 

“Hey, asshole. Hey, look at me when I say this,” Michael demanded. Reluctantly, Gavin obeyed. The sleepiness that was in Michael’s eyes was replaced by a burning determination. His eyes, like many things about Michael Jones, captured Gavin’s attention.

 

“I know you, Gavin,” Michael started. “I know you probably the best out of everyone. You’re a British prick and possibly one of the best surgeons in that hospital. I know you did everything you could for that girl and I know that you wouldn’t have been a smug asshole to endanger her life. You were her best shot, I know it.”

 

“You think so?” Gavin asked, open and vulnerable in a way specifically reserved for his husband.

 

“I know so. You did all you could for her. Stop blaming yourself for this,” his matter-of-fact tone made Gavin breathe deep and relax for the first time since Sarah flatlined on the operating table.

 

“I’ll try, my boi.”

 

Michael gave Gavin a swift kiss, “Good.” The next thing Gavin knew, Michael was pulling him in to his chest. One ear was pressed against where Michael’s heart was, and it was beating steadily, rhythmically. Michael’s heart was the consistency and stability that kept Gavin grounded instead of sinking into despair. Michael’s heart told Gavin that, out of all the hearts that ever were and would be, this heart was his.

 

As Gavin’s eyes drifted closed and he let sleep take him, he felt the burden of Sarah’s death become a little lighter on his shoulders, guided by the steady beating of his love’s heart.

 

And in the morning, when the world was a little less gray, Gavin knew that his heart irrevocably belonged to Michael as well.


End file.
